The Diary of Hermione Granger
by Julia Griever
Summary: Yours truly, Hermione Granger....
1. Passionate Writer

Hermione sat on her bed, writing in her diary. She loved to write. Maybe she would grow up to become a writer, but if she didn't, she would still write in her diary. She loved how she could pour all her feelings onto the pages through her quill like a waterfall. Her quill looped and flew over the pages as gracefully as could be. Hermione felt as if nothing could really bother her when she wrote.  
  
But the only thing she had to watch out for was snoopy people who would read her diary. 


	2. Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown

Hermione woke up from her dream and felt thirsty. She got up to go get a drink. She was halfway down the stairs, when she heard Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown giggling as they sat in the common room, and decided to listen in. "Truth or Dare?" Parvati asked Lavender. "Umm.dare!" "Okay.I dare you to.go up to the dorm and.read Hermione's diary!" "Oh no, I cant do that!" "Why not?" "Because she'll kill me if she finds out! And you know how light of a sleeper she is." Lavender felt scared. "All right, I Triple Dog Dare you to! Ha! You cant go back on a Triple Dog Dare!" "Well.will you go with me?" Parvati rolled her eyes, "Oh all right. Besides I want to see what's in there!" "Okay!"  
  
Hermione gasped and raced up to the dorm and quickly scribbled a fake, pathetic entry, stuck a bookmark in, and put her diary on her bedside table where they were bound to find it. This way, Hermione was sure they'd read the bookmark entry and not find out any of her personal life. Parvati and Lavender sneaked upstairs, and found Hermione's diary. "Well, she's left a bookmark in, so lets read this one." Said Lavender. Hermione silently giggled at how easily they had fallen for it as Parvati began to read aloud: "Dear Diary, Today was Potions class and I got good marks again! Whee! Yay! I'm the most smartest girl at Hogwarts! I absolutely have to be a genius! Yours truly, Hermione Granger.  
  
"Huh?! How boring!" Parvati then exclaimed and snapped the book shut. "Well, maybe she's written more."said Lavender. "More what? More I'm so smart, I'm so perfect entries? No way am I reading anymore of this! Besides, I'm tired. Let's go to bed." "Okay." Lavender put the diary back, and the two went away.  
  
Hermione thought she had cracked three ribs from trying not to laugh, and now she let out a loud snicker.  
  
  
  
"Suckers!" she chuckled and went to sleep. 


	3. Emma Watson

(I don't really know how it works. The Hermione in the movie (Emma Watson) annoyed me but the Hermione in the book I loved! ...Bad acting, perhaps? Or maybe it's just because Emma Watson bothers me. And also, the stores mentioned are my favorite stores! Me and Hermione have something in common! Yay!)  
  
Emma Watson took a sip of her Shirley Temple as she went on her tour of the REAL Hogwarts School. "Eww!" She nearly spat out her drink when she sipped it, "LARRS!" she then yelled. A nervous butler appeared by her side, "Yes, Miss Watson?" "My Shirley Temple's bitter! Make another one!" "Yes, Miss Watson." He hurried away. Emma followed her tour guide, but soon got bored. "I know!" She said to herself, "I'll go to the Gryffindor common room to meet the real Hermione!" So she departed from the tour guide and went up the stairs to the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Password?" she said. "Uh, Pig snout?" "Access Denied." "Wattlebird?" "Access Denied." "Hey, come on I'm the Hermione that everybody saw on the big screen! Let me in!" "That doesn't matter. Password?" Emma picked the wildest guess off the top of her head, "Um.Hufflepuff Sucks?" "YES! Access Allowed!" "Wow, I didn't know Gryffindors hated Hufflepuff." Emma went into the Common Room, to see that nobody was there. "Huh! I wonder where everybody is." She said to herself, and looked at her very expensive, trendy, stylish watch that cost lots and lots of money, "Oh bother! I picked a wrong time! Everybody's at class! I guess I'll have a look around." She went up into the girls' dormitories and looked around. "Pah! MY bed's much better than these beds!" she scoffed and looked around some more. "What's this?" She said and picked up a book that read on the cover, The Diary of Hermione Granger. "Oh!" She opened it and began to read it. It said:  
  
Dear Diary, I can't stand it! They made a movie of Hogwarts and did it ALL wrong! Ron is SO much taller than that Rupert Grint kid, but I have to admit, Rupert IS cute! And the actor who plays Harry looks like a girl! Well, I guess Harry's a nerd in real life, so it balances out. The only good part of it is Oliver Wood- Sean Biggerstaff is SO hot! Hotter than the real Oliver Wood! The real one is just nasty. But what REALLY ticks me off is that Emma Watson girl who plays Me! She's SO ANNOYING!! She is a down-right, pure WANNABE. How dare she act my part! She had the words all wrong! And I do not dress in red skirts and sweaters when I'm about to find the Philosopher's stone- Go shopping, you stupid girl. I'd recommend Club Monaco, Roots, American Eagle and 1850 for stores- not Jamboree or Gap! I'd die before I'd be caught in those clothes! Oops, time for Transfigurations! Yous truly, Hermione Granger.  
  
Emma Watson slammed her book shut, tears pricking her eyelashes. "Well I never!" She fumed and began to sniffle. "I'll show that Hermione!" she sobbed and stormed out of the room, cursing under her breath.  
  
"I'll show her that I DON'T shop at Jamboree or Gap!" 


	4. Malfoy

Song: 'Heart' by the Pet Shop Boys from the album 'Discography' copyright 1991  
  
*~* Every time I see you, something happens to me Like a chain reaction, between you and me My heart starts missing a beat, My heart starts missing a beat, every time Ahhhh, every time Ahhhh, every time *~*  
  
Hermione's hand shot up for the third time in Transfigurations. "Oh man, what do you have to say NOW, Mudblood?" sneered Malfoy, who was sitting next to her. "Don't call her a Mudblood, Malfoy!" Professor McGonagall snapped, "What is it, Miss Granger? Do you know the answer again?" "Actually, can I go to the bathroom?" she asked. "Yes." Said Professor McGonagall and Hermione left the room.  
  
*~* If I didn't love you I would look around for someone else But every time I see you, you have the same effect My heart starts missing a beat, My heart starts missing a beat, every time Ahhhh, every time Every time *~*  
  
Malfoy sighed deeply. Hermione, the love of his life had left. Now, next to him was emptiness, as empty as his heart. In Transfigurations his heart always beat so lively. How could he be so mean to her? Was it just his stupid hormones kicking in, making him act like an asshole when he felt funny? He saw a book sticking out of Hermione's bag. He was sure it carried her scent. Malfoy pulled it out and inhaled deeply. 'Ah, the scent of Body Shop Satsuma Lotion.' he thought to himself.  
  
*~* I hear your heartbeat next to me I'm in love with you, I mean what I say I'm in love with you and you don't know What it means to be with you (Beat, beat, beat, heartbeat) *~*  
  
Malfoy then read the cover that read The Diary of Hermione Granger. "Her special thoughts." Malfoy muttered to himself. He looked around the room. No one was looking, so he opened it to a miscellaneous page and began to read. It said:  
  
Dear Diary, I know he's so mean to me and a snob and hanging with those dumbasses Crabbe and Goyle, but I am in love with Draco Malfoy. When he looks at me.I just cant resist him. His eyes are silvery, like the moon in the sky. And I know it's Harry he hates- I really don't know about me- he hasn't said anything mean to me. OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I feel like a lame-ass- I like somebody who calls me a Mudblood every time I walk by. But I know he's not all bad- he's very passionate about his work and was once very sweet to me when I wasn't with Harry. Hmm. maybe I wont hang with Harry so much if it'll cause Malfoy to actually notice that I exist as Hermione Granger, and not just as 'That Mudblood who hangs out with Harry Potter' Do you think it could happen? I'm not getting my hopes too high, but hey, it's worth a shot. Yours truly, Hermione Granger  
  
Malfoy's jaw dropped open. She felt the same way that he did about her? How could it be? Was it just sheer luck or was it just a phase that Hermione was going through and was over it? Malfoy then made a decision to be as nice to Hermione as he could, so she would hopefully notice that he loved her as much as he did himself.  
  
*~* Every time I see you, no matter what we do, There's a strange reaction, can you feel it too? My heart starts missing a beat, My heart starts missing a beat, every time Ahhhh, every time (2x) *~*  
  
The door opened and Malfoy jumped and quickly stuffed the diary back in Hermione's bag. It turned out that the person coming back in was the Aphrodite herself, Hermione. Malfoy smiled at her as she slid into her seat, and knocked her bag off her chair so that it fell at Malfoy's foot. Hermione's eyes widened, "Oh! I'm sorry!" She bent to pick it up, only to have Malfoy's hand being placed lightly on hers as he looked up at her to give Hermione her bag. "No need to apologize." He said warmly, not taking his eyes off of hers, and smiling. Hermione shyly smiled back, and Malfoy gave her a wink, resulting in Hermione blushing. "Mr. Malfoy! Pay attention!" Malfoy snapped to attention, painfully drawing his eyes away from Hermione's, keeping his hand on hers.  
  
*~* I hear your heartbeat next to me I'm in love with you, I mean what I say I'm in love with you and you don't know What it means to be with you *~*  
  
"Yes, Professor McGonagall." 


	5. Ron

Ron sat in the Gryffindor Common Room very late at night trying to get his homework done. "Aaah!" He exclaimed to himself, "I'll NEVER get this done!" Ron hopelessly looked around the Common Room for a book to help him with his homework. "Damn, I shouldn't have played Wizard's Chess instead of gone to the library." he angrily muttered to himself. He spotted Hermione's bag lying on the floor- she had forgotten to take it upstairs when she had gone to bed. "Hey, ol' Hermy's gotta have the books! I'll just borrow them for tonight." He said and went to the bag and pulled out a book that had a title that Ron couldn't make out, as it was dark over where the bag was. He went back to his chair and opened the book, "I wonder what's in here?" He peered at the pages, "Oh, it's Hermione's diary!" He turned the page, and began to read. It said:  
  
Dear Diary, Ack! As much as Ron's my friend, he is so annoying! He keeps boasting, saying 'I beat whoever at Wizard's Chess' or 'So-and-so SUCKS at Chess!' and he's always running around to somebody asking if they want to play chess! But now nobody likes him because he's so competitive at Chess- not one single soul has beaten him! Well, I've been practicing in my spare time at Wizard's Chess, and I say I'm getting pretty good at it! With luck, I'll be able to beat Ron at Wizard's Chess, so he can finally be beaten and talk about something else rather than Chess. Wish me luck! Yours truly, Hermione Granger  
  
Ron shut the book, "We'll just see about THAT!" 


	6. Harry

Harry wandered around the Library, with his nose in a book, until his foot slipped on something, and he came crashing down on the floor. "Ow!" he exclaimed and sat up, to look around for what had tripped him. He spotted a book on the floor, "I never knew books could be so slippery!" he muttered to himself, as he saw that the book had fallen out of Hermione's bag. He picked up the book, to see that it was called The Diary of Hermione Granger. He looked around to see that nobody was looking, so he opened the book. It said: Dear Diary, Harry freaks me out! He says his scar is always hurting, and he's always thinking Lord Voldemort's always out to get him! Aaah! Even looking at that scar scares me! If only he had some makeup to cover it up. Yours truly, Hermione Granger  
  
Harry thought for a minute. "Does Aunt Petunia have some makeup I can use? Or can I buy it in Hogsmeade.?" 


	7. Fred and George

Fred and George were incredibly bored, so they made a Turn-Yourself- Invisible potion and walked around the girl's dormitories, looking through some of the suitcases and things, when George spotted something. "Hey Fred," he said, "It's that Hermione girl's diary!" "Oooh, should we read it?" "Why not?" They sat on Hermione's bed and opened the book to a page which said: Dear Diary, Grr! It makes me so mad! Those stupid Weasley Twins used a spell to turn my hair green without me noticing! So I walked around for two classes with people snickering at me, until after school, when I looked in the mirror! I screamed and had to go to the Hospital Wing so Madam Pomfrey could turn my hair back to normal! Yours truly, Hermione Granger  
  
"Oh dear," said Fred, "Maybe we have gone too far with our jokes!" "Should we stop?" replied George. The two thought for a minute.  
  
"Nah." They both said and went off to pull the turn-hair-green trick. 


	8. The End

Hermione walked onto the field, where she saw a group sitting down in a circle, around what seemed like a book. The group consisted of Ron, Harry, Malfoy, Fred, George, and Emma Watson from the Harry Potter movie, whatever she wanted. Hermione was greeted with all of them saying "Hi Hermione!" and then with, "Do you wanna play chess?" "Do you know where I can buy makeup?" "Hermione, I have something to tell you." "Do you want to see my new turn-hair-purple trick?" "And after that, do you want to see my new turn-hair-yellow trick?" "I do NOT shop at Jamboree or Gap!"  
  
Hermione silenced the chatter by saying, "Whatever. Has anybody seen my diary?" Everybody looked around nervously at each other and in unison replied, "No." Hermione sighed, and then looked over at what was in the centre of the group, "What's that?" Everyone frantically tried to cover it up, but Hermione saw it and gasped, "My Diary! All of you have been reading my Diary!" She angrily snatched it away and yelled, "Don't you dare do that again! And for reading my Diary, you can all forget about me giving you help with your homework!" She began to storm away. "Are you sure you don't want to play chess?" said Ron. Hermione stopped turned around. "All right, I'll play chess, but only if you promise not to read my diary ever again!" "Okay." Hermione went inside, and before Ron followed her, her turned to the others and said "I won't read it, but you guys have to tell me what's written in it when YOU read it!" "Right!" everybody said in unison, and Ron followed Hermione in, almost sure he would beat her at chess. 


End file.
